To continue my musings based on hearing Hugh Mackay speak: he said that one of the most significant social changes is the shrinking of the Australian household. That while our population has increased five fold the number of households has increased ten fold. This means less people (2.5) per household. There is a great growth of single person households.
He reckons there are two sorts of people. Those who live alone by by choice and love it, and those for whom it is an involuntary matter brought on by divorce or death, and they hate it. They feel lonely and can withdraw into isolation.
In talking about this Hugh highlighted that we need to be aware and caring. That people living alone do not need advice necessarily but that they definitely need someone to be there for them. And it is not just people living alone but for all people there is a deep need to be heard.
Listening is the greatest gift you can give to someone. That doesn't just mean hearing what they say but really listening with undivided and non judgmental attention. Not waiting for your turn to say something or to comment on what they said but to really hear and appreciate their story, and it may need to be heard more than once. Maybe all they need is an 'uh-huh' or a 'that must be tough' or 'tell me more about that'.
In the recent course I did on Mindfulness I was intrigued with one section that talked about lovingkindness (mentioned in an earlier blog). What really blew my mind was the thought that if we brought lovingkindness to our interactions with others and really listened to what they said with the intent of understanding, then we could bring about world peace.
Phew, that really is something aspire to. Start small. Listen with your whole heart to someone today and the ripples will affect our community and our world.
To all you grammarians and nitpicky proofers, you may think when you read this that Glenys has lost the plot. Just look at all those incomplete sentences! I have noticed the trend and I think I rather like it for some types of writing.
ReplyDeleteYeah - I agree that everyone needs to feel that they are heard. - and being heard means having someone listen.
ReplyDeleteand there's listening and listening...
DeleteYes Glenys, I agree whole heartedly with your views on the art & gift of being a good listener to enrich somebody's life But I cannot agree with your paragraph about "What really blew my mind was the thought that if we brought lovingkindness to our interactions with others and really listened to what they said with the intent of understanding, then we could bring about world peace." The rise of Germany & Hitler in the second world war is a story of listening to what Hitler said all he wanted to do.
ReplyDeleteDo you think David the shepherd boy sould have listened & reasoned with Goliath & then suggested that he should go back home.
There are just some situations where listening will not bring peace to. Particularly world peace. Why is it that there being enough food in the world to feed everybody we fail miserably & so many people die of starvation?? I do not believe it is through lack of listening! Just a thought??
Thanks for your thought, Pete. I probably didn't explain very well. Lovingkindness is about wishing the other person wholeness and wellbeing - a bit like Jesus telling us to love others as we love ourselves.Listening is about two people or two sides of conflict really listening to the other person until they can put themselves in their place in complete unselfishness. I doubt we can even begin to understand how this might be when our belligerent ways are so deeply ingrained. Just a little glimpse of heaven where people truly seek the way of peace.
DeleteThat was a good explanation Glenys. I got distracted by my frustration of how sometimes all the talk & listening in the world will not change or alter an ideology of a nation or group of people. In those instances it is so often a spiritual kingdom difference. However God has not called me to change nation's ideology's but to make a personal difference in one on one situations & that is where lovingkindnes makes a huge difference as you say. So yes I even agree with you there too.
DeleteThanks, Pete. I remember years ago being challenged that the way to peace starts right here with me. In my bit of the world and that the ripples would spread out. When all around seems desperate and there is no hope for reconciliation, we can make a difference in our our little patch of the world.
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