What to say when those phone calls come...

You know the ones. Where they ask if you are Mrs Bad-ger when you said, 'This is Glenys' or when there is silence and funny background noise before they answer.
There is an alarming increase in these calls. Some are raising money, some offering an investment opportunity and some are downright scams which unfortunately people fall for and loose heaps of money.
Our answering machine mostly sorts them out as no-one seems to want to leave a message with our sweet grandson whose voice is on the recorded message. I get more calls to my  mobile than to the fixed phone although even the  mobile is susceptible. But sometimes I am expecting a call from someone and pickup.
My first response is to assure them that I am Glenys as I've said and that Mrs Badger is my mother in law, dear and cherished but long dead.
When they plough on there are questions to ask them: Who are you? Where are you ringing from? What is the weather like where you are?
Some ask politely how I am and I am tempted to tell them the whole story of the aches and pains and the  frustration with the insurance company and about the lack of rain. I did try this recently and they hung up in my ear. How rude!
A while back, in a coffee group an elderly lady, ie older than me, told me with a twinkle in her eye some of her suggested responses.
1. Can you hurry up because I am in the middle of something important. [Actually she was more specific than that but I'll leave it to your imagination.]
2. Can you be quick because i am robbing this house.
3. Are you the person who ordered 250 tubas? If you give me your address I'll send them to you?
Others simply let the caller rabbit on until they realise no one is listening and so it goes.

We also got to discussing who would make these calls. Who was so rotten as to try and trick people or maybe so desperate to earn a few bob that they would take on the job on behalf of the big bosses calling the shots and making the money.
So the other night when I picked up the phone and encountered a female voice which i really had trouble hearing, I let her talk for a minute and then asked her name. When she told me I said to her that I thought it was sad that she had such a nasty job and that I wished her well - and I did.
I don't know what she was wanting to sell or push, but I decided to leave her with a blessing rather than a flea in her ear.